Real Stories

Here are a couple of 'real stories' from parents, if you would like to submit a real parenting story please complete the form below.

Parents, Edinburgh
Hi, we have two children who have special needs but we treat them the same as anybody else and try to get through everyday as best as we can. Our son is 16 and has complex problems that prevent him functioning in the way society expects at his age, our son has had anger problems form a young age, we have asked for help for years but found it difficult to get any, his anger got progressively worse over the years, as a family we were getting pushed to our limit and didn't know where to turn.

We approached Social Services on several occasions but were told that 'we had good parenting skills' so we were not offered any service. Eventually last year after much nagging, lots of phone calls and complaining our voices were heard, by this time our family was at crisis point. We were assigned a temporary social worker who was like a breath of fresh air, he listened to what we had to say and he acted on things, he enabled us to access a Family Mediation project called Amber. Eventually we were all able as a family to sit round the table and sort things out, now we have a family contract, a few simple rules have helped us to get through each day and we now have respect for each other.

My son was still having difficulties controlling his anger, I had requested 'anger management' counselling for him for ages but nothing happened. We eventually approached the social worker again who helped us to access the support for our son.

Its not just families who have children with special needs who need these services but families in general, it is so difficult to get information and support when you need it.

My son is doing better and dealing with his issues and things are improving for him, I just wish that we could have got help sooner then my family would not have had to go through what we did, we did reach 'rock bottom'

Single parent, Stirling
I am 44 years old and I have lived in poverty all my life, living with the constant dread of wondering how I was going to feed my boy; of course there were times that the poverty was worse than others.

I was 18 years old when I fell pregnant with my son and I vowed that he would not experience what I had experienced, multiple deprivation - was the buzz word for the likes of me, it was not going to be his inheritance. I read once that 'people can live through adversity and still thrive' I was only just surviving.

I had to find my own home with my son, the council put me in somewhere that was dark, scary and not what I wanted for my son and I. I got depressed and eventually ill, I was then moved to a B & B that was just as depressing. I eventually got a house, it was no castle but it was mine, I even started to get work but I couldn't keep it up due to my depression. With money lenders not far from snapping at my heels, the leccy wanting their money, the gas, the council rent - everyone wanting money I couldn't take it any more. My social worker finally got me a placement at the Lilias Trust, a big house in the countryside that catered for families who were living in poverty, at last somewhere I could take my son and be able to receive a service with him.

I realised the only way I was going to survive life was to build a group of friends, professionals and relatives who genuinely cared, who I could talk with and bounce my ideas of life off. I feel reassured when I am at my most insecure when I have my group around me I now look for easy ways to rebuild a confidence that I think I once had.

Being a parent for me means providing the best for your children, it is what every mother would say, have I achieved that for my son? I don't know, I watch him grow up without a job and no prospects of getting one, at least he is not doing drugs which down my way is a real commendable act. I read newspapers that constantly remind me that I am a bad mother, feeding them wrongly, not getting them into work, not instilling the correct attitudes towards life - the list is endless! I have never been told that I have done a good job as a mother considering the poverty I have lived with, I remind myself that I am not a bad mother.

My life is on the up as I now do work experience at the Lilias Graham Trust once a week and I am slowly but surely working my way up the ladder, it seems a lot better when I only look up!

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